Zombie Doom (1999) 0 brains

Alternate Titles:

Violent Shit 3 - Infantry of Doom

In case you're wondering, that black brain where you normally see the rating is not an HTML mistake. This is the first film I've reviewed where I wanted to give it zero brains, but I decided that the absence of brains wasn't enough; I had to have something to symbolize the void that this movie was in my evening; thus, the Zero Brain.

I've never been crazy about the gore aspect of zombie films. A little bit of it adds some spice to the film, but if it gets piled on too thick, I tend to want to fast forward. If I had succumbed to my impulses while watching Zombie Doom, I would have ended up fast-forwarding through most of the film. The little of the film that didn't feature people being ripped or hacked apart was weakly filled with one of the worst scripts I have ever heard, barely enough to change the series of gory special effects into a "story."

The film was shot on home video, and the sound was added (badly) in a studio later on. The story is about three men that land on an island inhabited by a crazed army of sadists. The sadists, armed with shields, face masks, and machetes that look like props from an elementary school play, quickly capture the men and bring them before the Master and his son. From there, the movie devolves into a series of executions and fight scenes, interspersed once in a while with a mad doctor who is responsible for the few zombies that show up in the movie.

I'm sure that the makers of this film put a lot of thought into how to create the most graphic and disgusting deaths possible, and I'm sure that there are people out there who will appreciate this effort. I'm just not one of them. I would rather they had put their effort into a script that contained something besides cliches and obscenities and put their money into a cameraman who could keep the heads of the actors in the shot. I felt obliged to review this film, but if you don't have to watch this movie, then don't. On the other hand, if scene after scene of extreme violence is your thing, go nuts.