Meat Market (2000) 1 brainhalf brain

Meat Market was brought to us by Sub Rosa Films, the same people that brought us Shatter Dead. It was about the same level of quality, for slightly different reasons. The acting wasn't as wooden, but you still can't shake the feeling that you're watching the filmmaker's friends on the screen who, because they have tattoos and are wearing leather, are supposed to be hardened zombie killers.

The plot is minimal: two mercenaries are trying to survive in a world slowly being overrun by zombies. Once in a while the movie cuts to some random people being killed in an effort to paint the larger picture or to make some social commentary. The two mercs eventually team up with the Mexican wrestler El Diablo Azul, and also some lesbian (actually, bisexual) vampires (or, as El Diablo Azul says, vampiras lesbas). There is also a subplot with the scientist who was partially responsible for the zombies in the first place, but I won't tell you what happens, in case you still want to watch the film.

Director/writer Brian Clement had a lot of good ideas. I could see what he was aiming for, and appreciate it, but I just couldn't overcome the quality of the production. The sound faded in and out, the dialog was stilted and cliched, and, as I said, you feel like the actors are friends of Brian Clement who memorized their lines an hour before the shoot. I will credit Clement (and his makeup man, Nick Sheehan) with some decent special effects. There was plenty of close-ups of flesh munching, and the zombies were made out pretty well. I just can't say I'm going to be running out to watch the sequel.