Reviews
The Boneyard (1991) 1 brain1 brainhalf brain
(USA)

The Boneyard has one glaring flaw, but once you get past that, it's actually a pretty enjoyable film. It's the story of psychic Alley Cates (Deborah Rose) who has had her fill of helping out with police cases; she's had to witness the results of too many horrible murders, both with her real eyes and her second sight. Police detective Jersey Callum (Ed Nelson) comes to her with one more strange case. A mortician has turned himself into the police and told them about three bodies in his basement. Upon investigation, the police discover the bodies of three apparent children, with human remains in their stomachs. The mortician tells them that these are actually demons that he's been feeding human body parts in order to keep them from waking, breaking loose, and feeding at large. His father did this before him, and also his grandfather, all the way back to the ancestor that created the demons in the first place.

The flaw is this. I'll tell it to you now so that if you watch this movie, you'll know it beforehand and can enjoy the movie for what it is. It's revealed later on in the movie how to kill these demons, and to tell the truth, it isn't that hard to figure out. So why has this mortician's family been keeping these demons alive for generations instead of just killing them? Let's just pretend that this family bred children that managed to finish medical school but couldn't figure a way out of this particular dilemna.

So back to the story. Alley, Jersey, and Jersey's partner Gordon (James Eustermann) go to the rundown local morgue to let Alley take a look at the bodies. The night shift of the morgue is run by the cantankerous Miss Poopinplatz (Phyllis Diller, in a great role) and her poodle. While they're all there, the demons awake, and chaos ensues. (Normal Fell, Mr. Roper from Three's Company, also plays a role as one of the morgue doctors.)

I hated Phyllis Diller's character in Mad Monster Party, but she's quite enjoyable in this movie. The rest of the acting is also surprisingly good, especially that of Deborah Rose. The movie is mostly straightforward horror/action, but toward the end it slides into the humorously bizzare, like something Peter Jackson might dream up, to good effect. So how is this a zombie movie? Well, originally there was only one demon, but it turns out if you eat part of a demon, you also become one, sort of like the reverse of being bitten by a zombie. The end result is the same: the infected person changes into a mindless killer. How exactly one might come to eat part of one of these demons is something I will leave to the movie to explain to you.